The Young Couple Affair
2.
There
is already another crowd gathering at the
entrance of the suq, waiting for my arrival, some
of my followers have already proceeded me there and announced my coming.
3.
The
reception we receive is rather lukewarm. People are still unsure as to who I really am and
what exactly they could expect of me. Their expectations being unknown to me, it is hard
for me to now whether I would disappoint or not.
4.
As
we pass by one of the shops at the entrance to the suq, slowly worming our way in, an
elderly man runs out of it, heads towards the crowd, grabs the young couple by the hands
and drag them in my direction cursing and shouting all the while.
5.
“You,
whoever you are, whoever you claim to be,” he shouts, “tell me, tell me. Is it
right? Is this right? A daughter going
against the wishes of her father, and associating with someone whom he has rejected. Is it
right? Is it right?
6.
“You
tell them, sir. They won’t listen to me,
but they’ll listen to you, I have seen the way they look at you. You tell them that
what they are doing is wrong.”
7.
“Before I can tell them anything sir, it is you who needs to tell me
something. What is this all about?”
8.
“I
am a Christian sir, a good God-fearing Christian, I have been so all my life. But my
daughter sir, my daughter is in love with this young man over here, who is a Muslim. She
broke off a good engagement for him, even though she knows their union can never be.
Never. Never.”
9.
That
is it then, that is the matter my young female disciple wanted to talk to me about
earlier. Now
I know that I shall not disappoint.
10.
The
daughter tries
to say something to me, and so
does the young man, but I silence both of them with a gesture, and I proceed...
11.
“Tell me sir, how old is your daughter?” “She’s
twenty two.” “Hmm, I see. And how old is the young man?” “Twenty
five.” “And how long have they known each other?” “Almost
a year now.” “Almost a year. Almost a year. And how well do you know the young man?” “I
don’t know him at all. I refuse to know him. It’s completely irrelevant for me
to know him. His name says it all. He is a Muslim, and their union can never be. It can
never be. “I
told her, I told her last time we spoke, she would hurt me a lot, and would not be a
daughter of mine, should she go ahead with this thing without my approval. And I would never give my approval. Never.
Never.” “This particular issue aside, has your daughter been dutiful to you?” “Oh
she has. Oh yes she has. She always has. That’s why this is so difficult to accept,
to understand. It’s completely uncharacteristic of her to behave so
irresponsibly.” “And aside from her last engagement, which she canceled, has she ever
been involved in any serious relationship, to your knowledge?” “A
couple of times, but things didn’t work out. You know how these things go. And she
never befriended anyone behind my back, until this fellow came along.” “So, she is not naïve and
without experience?” "Yes, but..." “Pray, sir, let me tell you something now. Imagine that your
daughter did what you wanted her to do. Imagine that she did indeed break off her
relationship with this young man. “Imagine that she later got married to a person who met with your
approval, and had two children with him. Imagine that, one day, the children were asleep
and her husband away, and that she was
sitting there all alone in her home thinking back of
the happenings of the last few years in her life, and making an internal
account. “At such a moment in her life, sir, aren’t you afraid she might find herself unhappy? Aren’t
you afraid that she might find herself
wishing that she had a different father for
her children? Aren’t you afraid she might find herself, inspite of her, blaming
herself, and you sir, and you, for her unhappiness? But there would be nothing
anyone can do then. Would there? “Again imagine that she leaves the young man. Now, what would that
really mean in terms of your relationship with her? In terms of her feelings for you? “A young woman in her age, with her experience in life, and in such a
society, would not fall in love without thinking, would not profess her love without
thinking, and would not forget about her love, ever. Ever. “How would such a woman feel when the person she loves and respects
most in life, her very father, chooses to ignore her feelings, her experiences, her
individuality, her very humanness, stands between her and her happiness, for no good
reason whatever, and emotionally blackmail
her to get his way, for that’s exactly what your threat to her means, sir, an
emotional blackmail - how would she feel? How would she feel? “Hurt. Betrayed. That’s how she would feel. “Do you want your daughter to feel hurt and betrayed? And by whom? By
you, her protecting father, her supposedly protecting father. Do you want to
destroy the bridges between you and her? Do you want her to be unhappy? Do you want her to blame you for something like that? Perhaps
even to hate you, inspite of herself?
Do you? Do you? Or are you too damn possessive over her to care how she would feel or
think? “I wish a day would soon come when we would look at a man and see a
man, not a Christian, a Muslim or a Jew, not an Arab, a Turk or a Persian, but a man,
before all and above all, a man. “And if we have to judge this man, I hope we would do it on the basis
of his behavior and his actions, not his name and the little abstractions he happens to
believe in and which happen to suite the particular quirks of his mind and soul. People
should never be divided and judged on the basis of such things. “O people, let your children grow up and choose. Let your daughters
grow up and choose. Stop confusing love with possessiveness. Stop keeping a jailhouse
instead of a home. Let your children grow up and be free, lest they break free on their
own, and then, you would lose them forever. Forever. Don’t let your children wait, or
even pray, for your death. Don’t let them think of building their happiness upon your
graves. What society can withstand for long such a state of affairs? “Look at me here, my dear old man. I have enough authority to marry
these two young disciples of mine to each other, regardless of who is Christian and who is
Muslim, right here and now, inspite of you, inspite of all objections, and
inspite of all laws and traditions. But I shall not do so. I shall give you a last chance
to think things over and come up with the right decision. You are a loving father and you
deserve a last chance.”
12.
The
old man, still obviously confused, still obviously shaken, drops his head down and slowly
returns to his shop. The young couple unconsciously copying his movement slowly return to
the crowd, holding hands. The plunge into the darkness of the suq continues. (An afterthought)[1]
13.
Why
can’t the messiah ever be a woman? I would have thought women would prove much more
suitable to assuming this role, fulfilling this task, than men, much more suitable, that
is, to give all the necessary love-warmth, and make all the necessary sacrifices to bring
about salvation, or at least, to preach it much more convincingly.
14.
After
all, what man could ever claim to have experienced the miracle of life much more
intimately than a woman? And what could be a better motivation for embarking upon a
messianic mission than the motivation a mother has, just by virtue of being a mother?
15.
Such
questions reverberated through my mind for many years without an answer, until one
day… I finally managed to see the obvious. I finally managed to understand what makes
a messiah a messiah.
16.
When
I finally understood what makes a messiah a messiah, I finally understood the reason why
women can’t be messiahs, at least not in the traditional sense.
17.
For
to be a messiah, a person needs a dirty conscience, a very
dirty conscience. Now, even a cursory reading of history can reveal that men are
definitely much, much more liable than women to develop such a conscience, to develop the
necessary sense of guilt, extreme guilt (or am I idealizing women here? Only women could really tell).
18.
And only a man, who
has acquired his dirty conscience and his sense of guilt
through a process of osmosis, and not direct commission or involvement,
could rise to the level of a messiah.
19.
And
only a man who has somehow acquired, or has already possessed, a tremendous amount of
foolishness could ever dream
of declaring himself a messiah, not to mention actually declaring himself one.
20.
All
this is the answer I gave to the question: why can’t the messiah ever be a woman? But
when I asked myself the slightly more modified question of: why can’t a woman ever be
a messiah? I got a completely different
answer.
21.
And
the answer in this case is quite simple: perhaps, due to the male chauvinistic character
of most human societies throughout history, women were never allowed to become messiahs, or perhaps, they simply didn’t get
enough attention for us to hear about them.
22.
Yet,
should we accept a different definition of a messiah, should we see in her, a person less
interested in saving and redemption than in nourishing, upbringing, and coping with the
changing demands of life without getting uprooted in the process, perhaps then we can see
clearly that all mothers are messiahs.
23.
But,
for the time being, and for the millennium to come, I am the messiah that should matter.
24.
Be
patient then, be patient, o women of the world, not in all respects though, no, just in
some. People have the divide of sectarianism to pass first, before they are quite ready
for the divide of gender. Be patient then, o women of the world, be patient.
25.
Should
a woman-messiah emerge, however, sometimes during the next millennium, she is completely
free to differ with me on this point. Not that she would need my permission.
[1] It is not clear why the Noble Friend wanted to insert such a discussion in this particular place in His narrative. But two things should be noted in this regard: the issue is rather important, and the Noble Friend was not dictating this narrative while in the best of health.
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lust for salvation, Brother, as though it were a woman, and I - a man.
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